Review: War And Peace, by Leo Tolstoy

War And Peace (Вoйнá и мир, Bitches)
Leo Tolstoy
1869

2 Alexandrine Couplets About War And Peace

It was the best of times—it was the worst of times

         Oh wait, that’s the wrong book—this one is much better.

Russian people hang out—speak a lot of French,

     fall in love, go to war—and then come back, mostly.

War And Peace.  Written by this guy:

I was going to be Tolstoy for Halloween, but it was too scary.

I once made it a goal to read the world’s longest novels.  I read them, so you don’t have to.  Except I didn’t get past the first 100 pages of Ulysses.  I couldn’t even finish that one on cd. 

The Oxford World’s Classics Edition of War And Peace weighs in 1440 pages and 561,093 words, though this varies based on translation. 

Eighteen trees died to make just this copy.

It’s a bit shorter in Russian because they have fewer words than English.  Regardless, it’s one of the longer novels ever published.  Were you at war, you could use it as a weapon; were you at peace, you could build houses out of it.  Though if you think of the Harry Potter series as one giant novel, that’s actually about twice as long – over 1,000,000 words.  Just sayin’.

  

J. K. Rowling devoted more pages to Luna Lovegood than Leo did to Napoleon Bonaparte. 

  

So what is it about?  Well, you know . . .

war . . .

and peace.

The story is too long to narrate here.  It starts before the Napoleonic Wars in Russia and ends after them, so the early 1800s.  Most of the characters are Russian aristocracy, but the book paints a vibrant picture of people throughout the country.

War And Peace is often considered the greatest book in Western Literature.  That doesn’t mean it’s the most fun or entertaining, has the best prose or construction, or is the best in any single way.  It means the totality of the book, the thing as a whole, towers above the rest.  Here’s why: 

War And Peace has everything.  I said this earlier about The Three Musketeers, but I was only referring to plot.  War And Peace has action, intrigue, romance, blah blah blah.  It’s as much a love story as it is a Western, a political treatise, a comedy, and a history.  But it also has every lifestyle, discussing in detail the rich, poor, royalty, merchants, slaves, men and women, soldiers and civilians, the sick and the healthy, rationalists, cultist, anarchists.  It uses every point of view and plot device.  It ranges from 3rd person omniscient to 1st person close.  It has long, cerebral, typically Russian inner monologues, and fast-pasted battle scenes.  It literally does everything.  I suppose it had the room to. 

You see, War And Peace really does have everything.  We could make allotments for some sci-fi ideas that didn’t exist yet, but the essential nature of the statement I’m about to make is true:  If you’ve read War And Peace, you’ve read every story ever told, and every way of telling a story.  Pause for a moment and let that sink in. 

Would I recommend it? – Only if you’re unemployed, a series bibliophile, or one of the 12 lovers of Russian literature out there.  It’s not that it’s not for everyone, it’s just that, like all Russian literature, it’s a commitment.  

Then again, if you’ve read all the Harry Potter’s in a row, this is no big deal.  

This is twice as long, so you have 1/2 the excuse.